Adjust Your Path

Sometimes things happen in life that force you to adjust your path.  It is not always a path you want to take or am comfortable taking but is necessary.  And you have to leave it to God.  This pregnancy started that way.  Our life was good.  The kids were old enough and independent enough to be easy.  We had to adjust our path.

I've had all my kids at birth centers with midwives and no meds.  I would never do it any other way.  I'm the patient that refuses everything.  Ultrasounds, testing, anything intrusive.  They know me.  I go home 4 hours later.  I'm strange like that.  Then policy changed at the birth center and I was made to have an ultrasound.  We were sure it was a girl.  We had to change our path.  Then I tested positive for group b strep- and I had to have 4 hours leeway to get antibiotics before delivering.  And I had to stay 12 hours after to monitor baby.  Another veer.

Then I started itching.  And itching. And itching.  I felt like I had ants in me.  I googled.  I am so glad I did.  I found the reason for my itching.  And it made me reconsider my path.

ICP, otherwise known as Obstetric Cholestasis (OC), refers to a specific liver condition in which the normal flow of bile is impaired in a woman's body resulting in itching that can vary in severity and type.   ICP is associated with an increased risk for infant stillbirth, premature labor, fetal distress, and hemorrhaging in both mother and child.

I called the midwife and explained the problem.  This was unfamiliar territory for them.  I went in immediately for the blood test.  It would take a few days and that was not good for me.  In all my research the only cure is immediately getting baby out.  They were not apt to doing that with out the diagnosis.  I understood their position but also was not comfortable with "spontaneous stillborn".  I had already walked that path in this pregnancy with my best friend and it was hard.  Very hard.  I would not walk that path again.

Well the only compromise  was constant fetal monitoring while we waited for the test.  I was so upset.  I had already been up 2 full nights itching and emotionally was drained.  We left the office quite discouraged.

We made it half way home when I got this severe pain in my lower stomach.  At first I thought he was laying funny so we pulled over so I could stand up.  It did not change and now I was in so much pain I couldn't get back into the car.  I knew this wasn't labor related so something was wrong.  Our path took us to the local ER a few blocks away.  They were stumped and felt like I needed to be transferred to a hospital that actually had labor and delivery because if it was appendix or gall bladder they needed to protect the baby.  While I waited my children's pastor came to visit.   I thought that was so nice.

So my path put me in an ambulance with 2 funny guys and still in severe pain.  I arrived and spent several hours in triage with a nurse that was just as stumped.  They decided to admit me, monitor the baby and give me pain meds to sleep.  Another veer in my natural path.  At this point I could only lay on my left side so I had to give in to the pain meds.  While they continued to monitor the baby we tried to get some sleep.  We would see the midwife in the morning.  She started me on my group b strep antibiotics, just in case.

Come morning the pain was still horrible and I refused the pain meds because I wanted to be coherent when the midwife came.  She came in at about 7 a.m. with the blood results.  I had my diagnosis.  A normal reading was 10, a diagnosis was 14 and mine was 28- well over the safe limit.  Before they would induce they wanted to do an ultrasound and check all of my organs to try to pinpoint my pain.  They wanted to rule out a surgical procedure before they induced.  After the ultrasound they still had no reason to my pain. 

They started the pitocin, veering again from my path, and broke my water.  Now those that know me know that my other labors are hard and short- as in when my water breaks- I'm holding my baby 45 minutes later.  So the thought was, break the water- deliver baby.  HA!  That works great when your body is ready to deliver a baby- not 2 weeks early.

It was a long hard day.  They gave me pain meds for the stomach pain- but didn't touch the contraction pain.  I was not helping the labor since I couldn't get up with the pain- and with meds I couldn't get up because it made me so drowsy.  After many hours, they realized this was going nowhere and I insisted on the epidural- another veer in my path.  Within 5 minutes I was out of pain, relaxed and calm.  But making no progress.  Eventually they had to call in the doctor, another veer, to come turn the pesty child who was posterior and was showing distress.   The midwife and nurses were so calm but I could tell they did things with urgency.

He was delivered, cord around his neck and very blue.

It was a horrible day.  Ultrasounds, shots, pain meds, pitocin, doctors, and uncertainty.  But in the end, I had this perfect child that was safe from my body and I wasn't itching.

I've learned that when your body isn't ready to deliver a baby- it takes longer for them to adjust and your body to recover.  I also started the process exhausted from 3 nights of no sleep and that turned into 5 nights of no sleep and that turned into an exhausted mom.  But as I catch up on sleep I realize that although my path was different than I imagined,  it was God's path.  And I would do it no other way. 

Nate, Ross, Jett and Kenzie