Friday, November 02, 2012

Hugging is Over-rated

I am not a hugger. There are those that love to hug people and there are those that don't.  I don't.  I like my personal space.  It's not that I don't love them.  I just don't feel the need to express it in the form of a hug.  I hug my husband.  I hug my kids.  I hug visiting family and close friends when they arrive in our home.  I don't hug people I see everyday.

There is a running joke, that I'm Clovis on "Apple Dumpling Gang" the movie.  Have you seen it?  Clovis is a little boy that if someone touches him in anyway he kicks them and the siblings say "Clovis don't like to be touched".  I'm Clovis.  I kick.


Some of my friends, find this funny.  And they make it their mission to hug me every time they see me.  Just to irritate. You know who you are. I actually get texts from some people, like this one.

 I am the pug.  Sweet Jesus.


Now that being said, this summer, due to the loss of our son Nate, I've hugged more people than I ever thought possible.  I mean 2500 people came through the receiving line.  Four hours of hugging people.  A lot of whom I didn't know.  I was on herbal calming pills.  For hugging. No lie. You can laugh.


I have realized that hugging is how people tell you how they feel. They feel the need to hug another human to make themselves feel better.  They don't even consider how the other person feels.  (Or if they put on deodorant or too much perfume)  They are just spreading some love.  

We are all given the ability to love.  Some do that with gifts, some words, some time spent listening and some through hugging.  As humans we need all of the gifts at different times of our lives.  And in this season of my life, I needed hugs.  You can laugh again.

Now there are those of you reading this thinking what kind of cold person writes a post on hugging. Honestly I thought that. But I realized this morning when a friend (ahem) called me an ice queen because I said they wore their emotions on their sleeve, (that sentence felt so third grade) that it is really my loss to not hug.  And I'm okay with that, to a degree.  But, I realized that by receiving a hug in some ways is blessing the giver.   And I'm all about blessing others.  If it helps them feel connected to my grief then let them give the hug.

So who are you?  The non-hugger or the abundant hugger?

(Sorry for the lack of pictures, apparently this is the only picture of me hugging and my husband's and son's look says "What is mom doing?")







1 comment:

Denise said...

You didn't used to be a writer either, but "look at you." For those of us who were given the impossible job of protecting you from the hugging crowd this summer, it is nice to see that our failures have enabled you to see things a bit differently. And it is especially nice to see you looking for the humor in it. Laughter does good like a medicine! <3